It’s Cold, Duh!


So apparently, I brought the warm weather with me from Cayman. I have comedians for friends I guess because it’s currently a balmy -24. Time to bust out the bikini. I could totally rock a bikini right now. Underneath a full exposure suit of course.

What does one do for fun in this weather, aside from sacrificing a lamb to the sun god? I don’t ski. You remember the scene in Bambi when he takes his first awkward steps? That’s award winning compared to the grace and balance that I display on the hill. May as well throw snow boarding in there too. I used to skate, not well mind you. I was the girl that took the walker (is that what they’re called?) from the little kids just so I could stay upright for longer than my usual 30 seconds. My winter electives in school were usually arts and crafts or line dancing. I kill the boot scooting boogy. And cutting and pasting.

Sadly, I’m an adult and have to come up with my own ways to pass the time and apparently, sipping whiskey by the fire all day isn’t acceptable. I’ve done countless crosswords, slayed solitaire and crushed far too much candy. If it weren’t for work, I would build a fort in my bedroom, fill it with Reece peanut butter cups, Alexander Keith’s, and all the Harry Potter books/movies. Visitors welcome, just bring Kraft dinner. I wouldn’t come out until the snow was gone and I didn’t need to wear ten layers just to check the mail.

I’m told, however, that this behavior borders insanity and have therefore decided to suck it up. Or Canuck up, if I may. This doesn’t mean that I plan on becoming some sort of snow bunny, because it’s still ridiculously cold outside. But, you may catch me out there one of these days building a snow man, or making a snow angel…Ah who am I kidding? Crank up the fire and pass the whiskey!


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